Holding Space for Grief During the Holidays: Gentle Support for Your Heart
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything we feel.. the joy, the nostalgia, and yes… the grief.
Whether the loss is recent or years old, this time of year can stir emotions we didn’t expect or weren’t prepared for. And if you’re navigating grief while also trying to “show up” for life, I want you to know this: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re human.
Why Grief Feels Heavier During the Holidays
Grief isn’t linear, and it certainly doesn't take time off for the holidays. In fact, this season tends to stir the pot because:
1. There are more reminders
Traditions, music, decorations, family gatherings… they all shine a light on what (or who) is missing.
2. Expectations run high
There’s pressure to be cheerful, social, present, and “on.” If your nervous system is already stretched thin, that pressure can feel like a weight.
3. You’re comparing this year to “before”
Even when you don’t mean to, your brain naturally measures the now against the then.
4. Emotional bandwidth shrinks
December is full. And when your plate is already overflowing, grief steals the remaining space quietly but powerfully.
None of this means you’re failing. It means you’re carrying something tender.
What It Looks Like to Hold Space for Yourself
“Holding space” is one of those phrases we hear often, but what does it really mean?
It means:
honoring what you feel without judgment
giving yourself permission to slow down or shift plans
creating moments to breathe rather than push through
acknowledging that grief and joy can co-exist
remembering that you are allowed to have a different emotional experience than others around you
Think of it like widening your internal margin. Instead of forcing yourself into the holiday current, you consciously give your heart room to be exactly where it is.
Practical Ways to Support Your Heart This Week
Here are a few gentle practices you can weave into your days:
✔ Have a “grief plan” for gatherings
Choose an anchor:
• a phrase (“It’s okay to step away”)
• a boundary (“I’m leaving by 8”)
• a person who understands your cues
This is self-support, not avoidance.
✔ Create one small ritual for the person or chapter you miss
Light a candle.
Hang one special ornament.
Write a letter.
Say their name.
Rituals help your nervous system process what your heart is holding.
✔ Let yourself opt out without guilt
You don’t need permission to choose rest.
✔ Repeat this affirmation
“I am allowed to feel what I feel. My grief is valid, and I do not have to perform joy.”
If This Season Feels Heavy… You’re Not Alone
Grief doesn’t care about calendars. And you’re not expected to carry everything with a brave face. If anything, this is a season to be softer with yourself.
Give yourself grace.
Give yourself slowness.
Give yourself presence,,, not pressure.
I’m holding space for you, and I hope this week you feel a little less alone in whatever you’re navigating.